Every year, Hot Girl Summer arrives with the same promise that this will finally be the season when you meet someone. You’ll have a summer fling, fall in love on vacation, or somehow find your future boyfriend while drinking an Aperol spritz on a rooftop. Then Aug. starts winding down, you’re still single, and it can feel like you missed your chance.
But there’s no need to panic, because I’m here to tell you that fall is actually the best time of year to date. Let me make the case for something better: Flirty Fall.
Fall in love in the fall
Obviously, fall already has romance on its side. There’s a reason movies like When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail have made so many of us associate love with changing leaves, long walks, and really good sweaters. Hallmark has even built an entire "Fall Into Love" lineup around the premise that all anyone needs to find a partner is a charming small town and some sort of harvest festival.
The weather certainly helps sell the fantasy. It’s cool enough to spend an afternoon walking through the park without sweating through your outfit (and your blowout can actually survive the walk there), but it’s not so cold that every date has to take place inside. You can go apple picking, watch a football game, wander around a farmers' market, or spend a lazy day in the park before heading to a cozy restaurant for dinner in a turtleneck and red lipstick. Even the corniest fall activities give you something to do together besides sitting across from each other at a bar and exchanging résumés over a $25 cocktail.
I love all of that, and I’m not going to pretend that seeing someone in a really nice sweater has never affected my judgment. Still, I don’t think the clothes, weather, or seasonal activities are the main reason fall is so good for dating. The real advantage is much more practical.
In my opinion, summer may be a great time to meet people at a concert or local bar, but it can be a terrible time to actually get to know them. Everyone is traveling, spending weekends with friends, going to weddings, visiting family, or trying to squeeze every possible activity into the final few weeks of warm weather. One weekend you’re away, the next weekend they’re away, and suddenly you’ve been talking for a month but have only managed to go on one date.
Even when you genuinely like someone, it can be difficult to build any momentum when your routines are constantly being interrupted. You spend more time saying, "Let’s figure something out when we’re both back," than actually seeing each other, and by the time you are finally in the same city again, one of you may have lost interest or become distracted by something else.
Fall fixes a lot of that. Vacations slow down, work schedules become more predictable, and weekends stop filling up months in advance. Asking someone when they’re free no longer requires opening a shared Google Calendar, and you can see each other consistently enough to figure out whether there's actually something there.
Personally, returning to a routine makes me feel more motivated in general. I’m 27, but some part of my brain still treats Sept. like the beginning of a new school year. Once fall arrives, I suddenly want to clean my apartment, buy a new notebook, exercise regularly, cook meals with vegetables, and become the organized person I briefly convinced myself I would be back in Jan.
New season, new me
Some people call it "New Year’s for the girls" or, as TikTok Shop categorizes it, "Sept. reset." Whatever you call it, the idea is basically the same: Fall feels like a chance to get your life together after a summer when routines fell apart, and responsibilities became suggestions.
There is even some psychology behind that impulse. Researchers call it the "fresh start effect," which describes the increase in motivation people can experience after a meaningful point in time, such as the beginning of a week, month, year, or school semester. These moments help us mentally separate our current selves from our past selves, making it feel easier to start pursuing a goal again.
The research isn’t specifically about dating, but the connection makes sense to me. If you’re already thinking about the habits you want to build, the goals you’ve neglected, and the version of yourself you want to become during the final few months of the year, dating can easily become part of that reset. Maybe you finally redownload the app you deleted in June, agree to the setup your friend keeps suggesting, or simply become more open to meeting someone now that your schedule has calmed down.
And while there isn’t enough independent research to declare fall the official best season for love, dating app data suggests that people’s behavior and intentions really do change as the weather gets colder. According to OkCupid data, in 2023, the app saw a 26 percent increase from Oct. through Dec. in users saying they wanted to find their "forever person" rather than something casual. From June through Oct., meanwhile, it recorded a 14 percent decrease in people prioritizing love over sex.
Is it cuffing season yet?
The validity of "cuffing season," the time of year when single people supposedly start looking for someone to keep them company through winter, the holidays, and Valentine's Day, is contested. While some daters want to "uncuff" themselves for summer, others go into hibernation in the winter and want to find love in the warmer months instead. But there is something to be said for being "cuffed," a term from African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) meaning "partnered." More than half of the OkCupid users surveyed by the company said in 2023 that they went on more dates during fall and winter than during spring and summer.
Sometimes "cuffing season" carries a negative connotation, as if any relationship that starts in the fall is just a temporary arrangement to help two people survive winter without sinking into seasonal depression. But I don’t think people suddenly develop an interest in dating simply because the temperature drops. Maybe we aren’t all desperately searching for someone to keep us warm. Maybe we finally have the time and energy to give dating the attention it deserves.
Of course, that doesn’t mean every person you meet in Oct. will become the love of your life, and dating app data can only tell us so much about when real relationships begin. But the season may give you a chance to figure out if someone is worth pursuing rather than losing touch after a few Instagram Story likes.
So, if summer is winding down and you didn’t have the fling you expected or meet your future boyfriend over an Aperol spritz, have no fear. You have several months of good outfits and even better dates ahead of you.
from Mashable https://ift.tt/hcqZWy5
